The Strange and Unlikely Story of the Baby-Bringers of East Gippsland

 

Next month marks 25 years since the last baby was delivered in East Gippsland by stork.

Rapid advancements in medical technology through the 1980s and 90s, coupled with an increase in stork labour costs, saw the once-ubiquitous beaked baby bringer replaced by a new generation of ultra-high functioning cyborg units known as the “midwife.”

Although the idea of a midwife unit – simultaneously capable of high capacity technical recall, mechanical dexterity, and deeply human emotional and empathetic responses – had long been the dream of hospital administrators, it was only ground-breaking developments in artificial intelligence research in the later part of the 20th century that made this once far-fetched vision a reality.

And while the stork population of the Bairnsdale area has adjusted comfortably to unemployment and boundless hours of leisure in the fish-filled lakes and rivers of East Gippsland, the midwife unit has become a much loved and admired part of the local health service…

So listen, we’re just kidding.

Storks haven’t delivered babies in East Gippsland for ages.

And we know midwives aren’t cyborg units. Probably.

But what we do know is that each of the 300 babies a year that are born at Bairnsdale Regional Health Service bring joy, love and life into this hospital and into our community.

And that without talented and passionate midwives to look after our Mums and their babies, this community of ours cannot continue to grow and thrive.

It’s a beautiful part of the world over here. You’ve seen the pictures.

You can live by the beach. Commune with the cows on your commute.

In a smaller community like ours, you’ll do powerful and important work. You’ll make your mark.

So if you’re a midwife and you want to be part of something special here in East Gippsland, take a look at some of these opportunities in our midwifery team.

Go on. It’ll be the best move you ever made.